I will die if light touches me.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
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