I bet he comes in French.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
