He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
