he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
someone owes me an orgasm
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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