Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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