Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
