if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I could fuck to npr.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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