Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
he fucked my hip out of place.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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