he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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