Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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