i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
