you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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