we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
