Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
