Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU