you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
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I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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