I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
