You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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