i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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