Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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