My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
