We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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