someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
