I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
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