it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
