Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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