I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
