Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
