so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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