ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
