i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
