you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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