Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
