Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
even my farts smell like vagina
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
