she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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