You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
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Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
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He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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