The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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