I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize