I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
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