Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Randomize
