wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
