its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
