I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
