He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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