real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
