turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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