I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
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i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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