Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
