my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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