Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
