Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
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playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
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That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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