great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
