I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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