Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
