belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
My friends, they love my intelligence
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
