I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Randomize
