i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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