Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
