Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Best friends brother. Beat that.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
