i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
