one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
