I wanna bring you to show and tell
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
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i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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