my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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