I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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