the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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