I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
