sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I want to stick my p in your. b.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
then he tried to convert me to islam
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
